I wonder.

From learning to silence ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ to pronouncing ‘louis Vuitton’ and ‘Gucci’ correctly, I silenced an ocean of emotions behind my painted lips.
From waiting for Diwali to get my favourite coloured frock stitched to spending thousands in Madame and Lee, I tagged my happiness pecuniarly.
From climbing trees to catch gillu and mitthu to getting a thousand natural clicks done amidst the trees, I learned to fake smiles too.
From standing out for a day and on to investigate the mystery behind sun’s ahead, overhead and rear positions to applying a layer of 35++ SPF before exposing myself to sun, I befooled my insecurities well.
From running against the coming waves to counting my footsteps on the drenched shore, I befriended my solitude.
From laughing at, “Do you know what ant told to the elephant that it died?” to reacting HAHA at the memes my friends tag me into,
I wonder,
If I could ever be free.
If I could ever feel.
If I could ever fall and get up again to run wildly against the wind.
I wonder,
If adulting is more difficult or as an adult I’m more difficult.
-APARAJITA TRIPATHI